


If I Didn't Tell You

by bicadyheron



Series: Cadnis One-Shots [1]
Category: Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dating, F/F, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, Teenagers, Vibe Check, argument resolved, bi cady heron, but based on the vibes, cadnis - Freeform, cady is a dumb bisexual, damian is the supportive best friend we all need, janis is a lesbian you can't change my mind, not a lyric songfic, not explicit, song: if i didn't tell you (james tw), vibe check: makes out with crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23199994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bicadyheron/pseuds/bicadyheron
Summary: Cady can't stand having Janis mad at her, but confessing her love probably wasn't the best opener.
Relationships: Cady Heron/Janis Ian, Cady Heron/Janis Sarkisian
Series: Cadnis One-Shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1667947
Comments: 7
Kudos: 49





	If I Didn't Tell You

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this little one-shot! Inspiration is a fickle beast, but she said here have an almost 3k word one-shot.
> 
> Don't think any TWs are necessary here so have fun!

Running after Aaron probably wasn’t a good idea in the first place – he was right, after all. She had become just like Regina... and worse, because she was just using him as part of the plan. Cady didn’t even really have a crush on him. Sure, he was cute and kind, but... she had an overwhelming crush on her American high-school savior.

Further cementing the fact that keeping up appearances by chasing Aaron as he left her bedroom – and house – in a hurry, was seeing Janis and Damian drive by.

“Fuck,” she muttered, seeing the hurt in Janis’s eyes before she even spoke.

“I hope you’re having an _amazing_ time with your _amazing_ friends, Cady!” Janis shouted from the back of the Jazzy.

Cady, in all her drunken barefoot glory, retorted before thinking. “It’s not my fault you’re like... in _love with me_ or something.”

She heard Damian murmur an appalled “Oh no she didn’t.” as he reversed the scooter.

“That’s the thing with you Plastics,” Janis spat. “You think everybody is in love with you, when actually, everyone just hates you.”

“You made me like this,” Cady wailed, “It was your idea for me to pretend to _be_ Plastic!”

“Buddy it’s not pretend. You are as Plastic as they come!” Janis hopped off the back of the scooter to face Cady. “You think your shit don’t stink; you think the rest of us are dumb! I hate Regina’s guts, but here’s what you can’t comprehend: at least she _has_ the guts, to _not pretend to be my friend!_ ”

Cady could see the tears streaming down Janis’s face and the pain in her voice, and that sobered her up immediately.

“Janis...”

“No, it’s _fine_ , Cady, it’s just _fine_!” Janis cried, stepping back onto the Jazzy.

Damian started moving forward again before Cady could speak. Janis was rummaging in the basket and pulled out a canvas. “Here, you can have it.”

Cady caught the painting that was thrown at her.

“It won a prize.”

The redhead held the painting up. It was her, Janis, and Damian, grinning from ear to ear with arms slung around each other, rendered in vibrant, happy colors.

“Janis, wait!” Cady cried out, tears slipping down her cheeks, taking her mascara with them.

“Why should I listen to anything you have to say?”

“Because I’m _sorry,_ Janis, I... I’m drunk and I’m projecting and, and – fuck, this isn’t how I wanted it to happen.”

She could see Janis roll her eyes, but Damian stopped the scooter, curfew forgotten, as the two girls looked at each other.

“Wanted _what_ to happen?” Damian prompted, a malice in his voice that stung harder than expected.

“I... I... Janis... Even if you can’t forgive me, even if you hate me now, which is... it’s valid. I did some shitty things. But even if you – if I didn’t have you... you still deserve to know. I... uh. I love you... in the... in the gay way.” Cady stuttered out, stumbling closer to Janis the whole time.

Janis was frozen to the spot, brown eyes wide and sparkling with unshed tears under the streetlights. “You _what_?”

“I’m... kinda gay for you?” Cady repeated hesitantly, feeling the anger radiating off of her crush. She fiddled with her hair as she watched Janis.

“Oh my _God_.”

Damian said nothing, and Cady stayed silent, both letting Janis process.

“You... you’re the one who’s in love with me? Oh, this is _rich_ , Cady, really rich.”

Cady took a step back, reeling. “What?”

“Two minutes ago, you were accusing me of being “in love with you or something” and now this? Do you really expect me to fall for this shit?” She rolled her eyes and flipped her ombre hair over her shoulder. “Gretchen and Karen can come out from wherever they’re hiding. I’m not making more of a fool of myself than I already have by thinking I was friends with you.”

Damian frowned slightly but didn’t back Cady up.

“Jan... nobody else is out here. I’m fucking drunk, I’m dumb, and I’m in love with you. How hard is that to believe?”

The other girl laughed, a mocking and harsh sound. “How hard is that to believe? Cady! You haven’t treated us like real friends since Regina told you she thought you were pretty. And I just held on to the hope that you were a little socially clueless! Not a raging Plastic bitch! But here we are, yeah? You expect me to believe that _right now_? No way, Cady. Uh-uh.”

Janis didn’t even spare Cady a glance as she got Damian to drive away.

Cady wanted to yell after them, to run after them, to explain and apologize and make it up to them, but she was frozen. Because Janis was right. She was right.

She stood in the street, stuck to that spot by the terrifying truth, until the night air seeped in and the dress barely covering her torso wasn’t enough to keep her warm.

Cady walked back inside her house, where the party was still raging. Gretchen tried to talk to her, something about Aaron, but she walked past without a second thought. Suddenly, she was at the stereo and the music was off and the kids were boo-ing.

“Get out!” She shouted as loud as she could. “Party’s over.”

Slowly, the drunken teens filed out the door and back to wherever they lived. Stupidly, she had assumed that Gretchen and Karen would stick around to help clean up because they had helped set up, but soon enough she was alone.

The next three hours were torture. She picked up the trash, mopped up spilled alcohol and vomit, and tidied the house back up. All the while, she could barely breathe. Maybe it was the dress constricting her diaphragm, or maybe it was Janis.

_How could she have been so blind? How could she have hurt the girl she loved and not even_ noticed _it? No wonder Janis didn’t believe her. She didn’t deserve Janis._

Finally, when the only evidence of the party was a missing vase and too many garbage bags in the dumpster, Cady went to her room. The picture of her riding an elephant back in Africa was still face down on her bed. She put it back on her nightstand, but kept it face down.

She slipped off the dress, taking her first full breath of the night. It was soon replaced with an extra-large t-shirt and leggings, but Cady wasn’t comfortable.

Maybe she should message Janis and apologize? But also, Janis needed her space.

After overthinking for far too long, Cady fell asleep on top of the covers, tear tracks stained with mascara drying on her cheeks.

* * *

Janis and Damian made their way back to Damian’s house on the Jazzy in silence. After a small lecture on the importance of keeping curfew, they were allowed to chill in the basement.

Damian broke the silence between them.

“Are you okay?”

“Absolutely not,” Janis sighed. “But it’s whatever. I should have expected her to pull that shit.”

“Jay, Cady defies any and all expectations. Also, you should never have to _expect_ somebody to betray you.” Damian ruffled her hair playfully. “But... how do you feel about her little... confession?”

“Shitty.” The girl deadpanned, sinking into the couch.

“Janis...” he warned, getting up to grab her makeup wipes.

“It was a shitty thing to do, Damian! I don’t care if she was drunk and projecting. She can’t just accuse me of being in love with her like it’s some horrid disease and then tell me she’s in love with me!” She caught the makeup wipes that Damian had tossed to her and began working at her eyeliner.

“Yeah, sweets, it was shitty, but... how do you _feel_ about it?”

“Pissed off.”

“I get that, I really do. But...” Damian sighed, sitting down next to her. “Ignoring the context in which she told you, tell me how you’d feel about _what_ she told you.”

“It’s not that easy to just ‘ignore the context’,” Janis whined, throwing up finger quotes.

“Just try, please, dear.”

“Ugh, if it’ll get you to stop with the old married-couple pet-names, fine. It’s something that I’ve wanted to hear since we rescued her from that fucking bathroom stall. She’s gorgeous and she was sweet and innocent and being around her made me happy and I definitely have been in love with her and... that’s why it’s so hard for me to let go of the context. She just threw that at me so easily. Even after I told her what happened with Regina and how much it fucking hurt. She said it anyways.”

Damian wrapped his arms around her, pulling the makeup wipe from her grasp and doing the work himself.

“It’s okay to let it out, love. She did a shitty thing. But... I bet she’s still awake, cleaning up after those gross drunk teens. Why don’t we text her?”

“Absolutely not.” Janis snapped. “No. She needs to face me and _really_ apologize. If she can’t do that... well...”

“If she can’t do that, she doesn’t deserve to even be your friend,” Damian finished. “Because you deserve the world, Jay, and if she can’t try and give it to you as best she can, then she isn’t getting within 10 feet of you if I have anything to say about it.”

Janis let out a watery giggle, melting into his arms.

They fell asleep like that a Disney movie or two later.

* * *

Cady woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and a roiling stomach. Who said drinking was fun, again?

After she had rushed to the bathroom, she felt better enough to clean her face off and swallow some ibuprofen with a glass of water. It was only nine in the morning, and it was a Sunday, so she let herself fall back into bed.

She didn’t go back to sleep, though. She brushed through her tangled red mane with her fingers before giving up and throwing it in a messy bun. Hair was an issue for Awake Cady to deal with. Pulling her phone off the charger, she saw she had been tagged in a myriad of pictures from the night before. Perhaps, if she had invited Janis, it would bring a smile to her face. The way it was, though? The notifications only brought her guilt.

That guilt, however, gave her enough courage to message Janis.

**Hey, Janis... I’m really sorry about everything. I’m still a lil hungover rn but... could I maybe come over to your house a little later to really apologize and maybe explain?**

Unfortunately, Janis didn’t have read receipts on, so when Cady went a few hours without a reply, she had no clue if she was being ignored or not.

Around noon, when Cady had finally gotten dressed and managed to stomach some toast, Janis responded.

**I mean... yeah, sure. How about at 2?**

Cady frowned. Janis was definitely still pissed. But hopefully, she could fix this. She _needed_ to fix this.

She popped another ibuprofen as she finally combed through her hair enough to make it neat just before leaving for Janis’s house.

Luckily, she was only a 20-minute walk away, and just before 2, Cady arrived at Janis’s door. She knocked hesitantly.

Cady heard the patter of Janis’s dog’s claws hurrying to the door and she smiled. At least one person in the house wouldn’t hate her forever. In a minute, Janis opened the door, and the little mutt got to jump around her legs.

She smiled and greeted the dog before looking up at Janis. “Sorry, Henrietta seemed desperate for my attention. Can I come in to do this?”

Janis looked... done. Not exhausted, not pissed, but just... done. Even so, she nodded and gestured for Cady to go to the living room.

“My parents aren’t here so... this can get as heated as you need it to.” Janis explained.

Cady perched herself on the arm of the couch.

“I don’t exactly know where to start,” she murmured, worrying at her bottom lip. “I’ve screwed up so much.”

“Just... start at the beginning, please.” Janis said, no bite to her voice. “I’d like to know your side to... all of this.”

“Well, I was obviously super grateful when you and Damian rescued me from the bathroom at lunch, and... Jan, you were the most beautiful person I had ever seen. I was so ready to be your friend. So... when Regina wanted me, and you wanted me to play them for you... I was willing.”

Janis nodded, scratching Henrietta’s ears.

“But then I saw just how horrible Regina was, even to the people she called her friends. And it was suddenly about more than just making you happy. I felt like... I felt like I had to protect Gretchen and Karen.” Cady saw Janis frown and amended herself. “I mean... obviously they did bad shit too, but Regina did bad shit to them so...”

Janis hummed in agreement.

“And then we took Regina down. Gretchen and Karen looked up to me still? I think they were just so used to having someone boss them around. And... without thinking, really, I became that someone. I was just... I thought I was doing what needed to be done. But I forgot about you and Damian in the process.”

Cady frowned. That wasn’t how she had wanted that to sound.

“No... Uh, I forgot that you and Damian were the whole reason I had taken down Regina in the first place. I never... I didn’t forget about you. I... I was definitely crushing on you the whole time. The whole time. But... like I said, I didn’t think, and I got caught up in ‘being popular’, which is bullshit, and I threw that party because Gretch and Karen wanted to get me with Aaron because I was keeping up that Hetero Facade. And I forgot about your art show.

“And I don’t know if I can forgive myself for that, so I don’t really expect you to forgive me. But I really... I really am so sorry. I was a bitch, I became a bitch, I let the popularity get to my head, and I got image obsessed. I should have used my brain. I’m so sorry that my mistakes affected you. I will forever be sorry that I hurt you.

“And also, I’m sorry for saying that you were in love with me or something. Even if I was drunk and projecting, that was unforgivable. I never should have done that, it was a real shitty move. But... uh. I am. In love with you or something.”

Janis had been quiet through the whole thing, the expression on her face growing softer.

“Cady?” she murmured.

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry too. I realize it was shitty of me to use you to get my personal revenge against Regina. You aren’t completely to blame in this whole situation.”

She let her hair curtain half of her face after that, gaze cast towards the floor.

“Oh, Janis, no. Don’t apologize, please. Yeah, it was a little shitty, but it didn’t hurt me. It wasn’t malicious in intent whatsoever. You just wanted to topple her from the throne, not to... get her hit by a bus or something! It’s okay. I’m the only one who needs to apologize here.”

Janis looked up, pushing her blonde ends back behind her shoulder. “Okay...” she said, pausing in thought. “I forgive you. For everything.”

Cady startled, almost toppling off her perch on the arm of the couch. “Really?” she said, chuckling as she steadied herself.

“Really,” Janis responded. “Because... you were right. I am like, in love with you... or something.” She smirked cheekily, dark lipstick accentuating the expression.

Cady opened her mouth to respond, but found herself lost for words.

Janis just grinned wider, grabbing Cady’s chin gently with her long fingers. Cady didn’t resist as the other girl pulled her closer, and smiled as their lips finally met.

The redhead pulled away quickly, giggling softly. “Sorry,” she chuckled, “I’m just... I thought you’d still be at least a little mad at me.”

“Oh, I am.” Janis smiled wickedly. “You’ll be making that up to me for a while yet, but I had some ideas of penance that would be pretty odd if you weren’t my girlfriend.”

Cady blushed deeply, eyebrows raising. “Girlfriend, huh?”

“Girlfriend,” Janis whispered, pulling Cady in once more.

Their lips met in a feverish haze, far less soft than the first instance. Neither girl pulled away this time, lips moving against each other in apologies and forgiveness, and when Janis slipped her tongue into Cady’s mouth, they knew there was no going back.

Neither girl had been so happy. And, well... Cady had to give credit to Janis for having her wait until the parents were out to come over. There would have been either trouble or disappointment if that hadn’t been the case.

Janis was eternally grateful that Cady had told her of her feelings.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, that's so fetch! Kudos and comments are always appreciated ♡


End file.
